Hello Fareen, Hello Future!

Hello, it’s July 2019 now. We just finished Syawal and it’s been about one week since my birthday. 

Woah, my last update was in 2017. I actually planned to come and post something in here before so that there’s something from 2018. 

So later maybe i can do an annual thing yknow. Just one post each year to update on my life. But i guessed that slipped my mind cause we now in mid 2019 yalls. 

Well, just a quick recap then.

Fuck I don’t know where to start. So many things happened in 2018.

Yo 2018 was challenging. The most difficult ever yet. I was so emo and down at the end of 2017 but who’d knew that was actually just the beginning. Hah, life sure knows how to fuck people up. 

If 2017 was a year of failure, then 2018 was a year of choices. Early 18s was more of a transition, i gained stronger faith to finally moved on from what hurt me last year. I got to know this new man, who was there to pick me up and listened to my daily stories, fears, beliefs and whatnot. He was nice (still is though) and was really essential in my healing.

2018, god actually answered my prayers. But humans can be so ungrateful yknow. 

I got out of unemployment through a series of really unplanned events. Like one moment I was dreading to go to the SL1M career fair and was all set to go back home as soon as i reached the parking space. The next moment I am sitting for the last interview they had prior to closing their booth and later be in a class of 50 (?) other graduates learning about all these food safety standards. Knowledge that I don’t get to really use cause I was later recruited from this same program, into HR of Secret Recipe. I was put in freakin HR yalls! How does that supposed to make sense?!

Then it was time to make a choice whether to stay or leave. The company was offering me better position, better opportunity and overall better welfare. However, deep inside I know that myself and HR just doesn’t click. I always hated being the prefect in school and only became one for the certs, but here I am, history repeats itself. 

The job drains me, the people i meet, the situations i had to handle. The responsibility was heavy for a girl that knows nothing about labour law. I am blessed enough though that i have great support with me. These people anchored me from giving up and leaving things halfway. Some choices are difficult, but will be the ones you were most grateful for. 

2018 was a year i grew so much, mentally and physically. I am a year older, financially stable and has also greatly improved my state of mind. 

I moved into 2019 with more difficult choices to make and higher responsibilities, but I believe that the person I am today is certainly more mature and wiser than I was a year before. I hope it would also shape better decision and hopefully a better and happier future.

Wow formal dan adultnya posting ni. Definitely shows the growth I’m talking about hahaha.

I don’t think anyone will read this but me hahaha but it’s okay. In a few years time, this post will be a fond memory for myself. I would remember how I was laying in bed, in a pair of very comfy Myanmar pants my boss bought for me, with tears all welled up typing out the struggles of ‘18 and the growth it brought me. 

Hello Fareen (that’s what they call me at the office), I love you and I hope you remember these. We read somewhere before that said 23 would be the age of growth. Transitioning from student to worker. In simpler term, it is adulting. And the writer of the article is definitely, DEFINITELY, not lying. 23-25 was the lowest I have ever been, and I hope it does not stay that way. Although I am still in the slumps, still breaking down at times, but I hope we’d keep improving.

Hello Fareen, it is currently July 2019 and I hope you’re not crying in the shower, try drowning your sobs anymore. I hope you are happy with the life you have, man you love (i wonder who you choose in the end), a complete healthy family, caring friends, successful career and just have it all together. 

Hello to myself, hello to the future.

I really love you.

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